Sometimes I fail- Practice 6

Sometimes derby is going to kick you in the ass.  I know this.  However, it's not fun when it does.  I'm not going to pout, but I do need to make sure that I don't just track my progress and such, but also my fall downs.  I can't pep talk myself unless I see both my good and bads.

I started out the night thinking that everyone was having a bad day, and I was hoping their karma didn't rub off to badly.  We had a guest coach, and I was stoked to learn from someone new.  We started off with jogging and jogging and all that fun stuff (thank GOD for a sports bra), and although I'm not the fastest, I did it.  Then we did this weird stretch that I just could not get my mind around.  Note to self- figure it out!  After we got our skates on and started sprints.  I was doing good until someone fell and someone else got in front of me and slowed down.  I thought it was the start of the pack, so I followed her.  Then I got booted!  I know, if you are going to slowly then you need to go to the outside so you and others don't get hurt.  And I know I should have spoken up if I didn't want to be booted, since I was doing ok.  I CAN NOT expect someone to know what all 60 women are doing.  Instead I got into a funk and skated to the sides. 

Later we worked on things for our assessments.  I was in such a funk from before that I just kept screwing up, causing a bigger funk.  At one time I was in tears because I felt like I just couldn't do it.  I ended the night badly, and went home.  On the way home a derby announcer posted this on his FB page-  The Reverend Al Mighty “Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

I need to remember that I'm not always going to get it.  I'm not always going to kick ass, even if it's just my own ass.  But what I do need to remember is that true strength is holding it together and keep going.  Chin up and keep trying. 

Between a phone call from a dear friend, popcorn and a date with the green fairy, I got myself together.  I know I'm going to have bad nights.  I've seen even the most amazing skaters have boo nights.  No one is perfect, especially not me.  But what I need to remember is nothing is personal, and if I'm taken off of things, it's for a reason.  And I need to step up my game, not just pout.  I'll get there.